Operation: Equestria
by PCgamer238
Summary: A soldier from U.S Army is somehow sent in Equestria. How is he going to react? And what is he going to do? Most importantly, what if his friends get transported in Equestria too? Read to find that out! Funny as fuck! Rated Z for DAFQ moments!
1. The Beginning

**Note!  
****I found this story in my old archives. I remembered that i wrote this story when i started to like MLP:FIM... so i decided to correct some of this story errors and why not to upload this 1 year old story in fanfiction? xD**

Chapter 1

''Prologue''

Hot day in Afghanistan desert.

3 truck and 2 humvee convoy is on its way to U.S war base.

Sergeant Jason, Private McGarett and Private Peter are in the main humvee in front of the convoy. McGarett is on top with mounted machine gun, Peter is at the steering wheel and Jason is examining map in the back.

"So... sarge... were you unhappy that your ex-girlfriend committed suicide?" asked private McGarett in the humvee.  
"Ha, ha... very funny, Mac. Since when your jokes became dumb?" Sergeant Jason coolly answered.  
"My jokes? Dumb? Heh... since then, when your mother started masturbating."  
"You know what? Why don't you shut your little mouth, you fucking cocksucker!?"  
"Jeez, wasn't that too harsh? Ha, ha!"  
"Guys! Shut up and listen!" Private Peter interrupted the ''not-so-friendly'' dialogue and picked up the transmitter.  
"Hunter 2-1, this is Command HQ. UAV detected possible Taliban group at sector 4-7-2, how copy?"  
"Roger that, command, paying attention to sector 4-7-2, Hunter 2-1 out." answered Jason.  
"The fuck? Those little motherfucks just can't leave us alone for 10 seconds?" McGarett said.  
"Can you watch your mouth for 10 seconds, private? Stop whining and start scanning your sector!"

They drove along the road for few minutes, while covering the sector.  
Suddenly...  
Taliban fighter appeared on the horizon and fired an RPG at them.

"SHIT! RPG! INCOMING!" Yelled McGarett.

RPG didn't hit the humvee but the shockwave flipped it on its side.

"Dammit! Everyone ok? Mac? Pete?" Jason asked.  
"I'm fine" Peter reported.  
"I saw a tooth-fairy!" McGarett responded.  
"Alright, get behind the humvee and give me suppressing fire!"  
"Yes, sir!" Peter responded  
"You got it, sarge!" McGarett responded

*Meanwhile in Equestria.  
Just a sunny and peaceful day in Ponyville, but soon it won't be so peaceful anymore.  
In Ponyville's library, Twilight Sparkle just learned a new spell and wanted to test it... it was a teleporting spell. She was so excited, that she forgot to read the whole description of that spell.

"Spike! Can you help me a bit?" she asked  
"Sure! What do ya need?"  
"Could you be my test subject for a teleporting spell?"  
"Well... I dunno... is it dangerous?" Spike started to worry.  
"No, silly... well... maybe a bit!" she reluctantly answered.  
"Ok, but I will have a day off after this spell!"  
"Ugh... you already had a day off!"  
"Already?! Twilight! It was 2 months ago!"  
"Alright! Fine! You will have a day off... but let's start, maybe?"

Spike closed his eyes, while Twilight's horn started glowing. Everything started shaking and it felt like an earthquake. Spike really started to worry but, Twilight just continued and didn't pay any attention to everything else.

*Meanwhile in Afghanistan.  
The intense firefight ended. But the humvee was totally wrecked and full with bullet holes.

"Shit! That was friggin close!" McGarett said  
"You don't say, mate!" Peter accepted  
"Glad that its over... great job, guys!" Jason congratulated  
"You okay in there?" other soldiers from the convoy asked  
"We're fine! How are you?" Jason yelled back.|  
"We're cool!"

Meanwhile something went wrong with the broken humvee's transmitter... it seems that it picked up Twilight's energy.

"What the heck?" Peter asked and picked up the transmitter  
"Whoah... it glows... purple? What the... Gimme that for a sec!" Jason took the transmitter.  
"Be careful, sarge! I wont be able to explain this to your dead ex-girlfriend!" McGarett laughed  
"Fuck you, Mac! Wait... what if I..."

*ZIPP*

"WHAT THE FUCK? SARGE! JASON!" both other marines shouted  
"Oh my fucking god! He just frickin disappeared! How?!" McGarett yelled at his teammate  
"You fucking ask me? I don't know shit about these fucking communication things!" Peter stressfully answered  
"EVERYONE! We have a MAJOR problem here!" McGarett yelled at other members of the convoy.


	2. What the hell are those?

Chapter 2

''What the hell are those things?!''

Jason slowly opened his eyes and found himself in a dirty swamp, in a forest.

The soldier didn't know that it was the Everfree Forest. It was dark and scary... at least for ponies... for Sergeant this reminded his first spec-ops mission in jungle.

"Ow... shit! Where the fuck am I? How did I got here? Mac?! Pete?! Anyone?!"

He saw that his weapon is on the ground next to him, so he reached it, got out of the swamp and found a small path.

"Damn... this looks so... weird? Is this a fuckin dream or somethin?"

Jason continued to walk along the almost invisible path, and examine the weird looking trees and stuff.

"I am totally dreaming... Alright, nobody sees me, so that means no one will think that i'm completely out of my mind"

Jason said and kicked himself with the weapon's stock.

"OW! Fuck... nope... i'm not dreamin!"

.

Meanwhile in Ponyville.  
Twilight stopped the weird magic thing and looked at the extremely frightened Spike.

"Umm... Spike?"  
"T... T... That was... s... s... scary..."  
"Well... at least we are okay"

Twilight looked up the spell and tried to understand, what did she do wrong?

"You have to be exactly 4 hooves away from the target you want to teleport. If you are 4+ hooves away, then you could teleport a creature from other dimension somewhere in Equestria... Spike? I think that I was 6 hooves away from you... and I think that I just teleported a creature from another dimension in Equestria" worried Twilight  
"WHAT? Can you read ALL of the instructions next time, Twi?"  
"Sorry, Spike. I will be more careful next time, ok?"  
"Don't apologize to me! You will have to apologize to that creature you just teleported somewhere!"|  
"Right... well... what's done is done. Want to go shopping?"  
"Alright! Now you're talking!"

Twilight and Spike went outside... but what happened to our hero in the forest?

"Wow... this frickin forest is too big for me. I'm starting think that I am walking in circles! Fucking navigation never works when its needed most! Damn technology."

He stopped in the middle of the path and listened... he heard someone coming.

"Finally! Didn't know that there are people in here!"

He walked towards the sound until he saw a pony about 50 meters from him... of course he didn't know that it is a pony.

"Wait... What the?! DAFQ is that thing?! Shit! Hide somewhere, damnit! Yes! A swamp!"

He quickly hid in the swamp next to the path. Luckily for Jason, the pony didn't see him and walked past. Sergeant watched how he passes him.

"What... the... fuck... did... I... just... saw? OK! I am definitely dreaming! What was it called... Lucid dreaming... yeah! That means if I go and do something out there, my mind will be forced to fucking wake me up... I LOVE YOU, PHYSICS!"

He jumped out in the open and ran at the walking pony.

"Hey, there, fella? Want to know how I can do shit? I will do it like a frickin boss! Look!" Jason talked complete nonsense.

Poor pony almost fainted. He was shocked and just stood there staring at the "2 legged monster". But when Jason fired some of the carbine's rounds in a tree for no reason, the pony ran away screaming like hell.

"HELP! MONSTER! HEEEEELP! ANYPONY? HEEEELP!"

Jason just stood there confused... when he finally came to sense, he thought:

"If I'm not dreaming... then DID THAT THING JUST FRICKIN TALK?" Jason thought  
"I think that I just fucked my life for sure... What the fuck, brain?! Can you ever do at least something good? Ahh shit... what now?"

Meanwhile in Ponyville everything was completely normal until...

"HELP! PLEASE HELP! MONSTER!"

The pony ran in the middle of the village and fell down on the ground while covering his eyes with his hooves. He was trembling. Everypony gathered around him. Twilight and spike walked closer too...

"Are you okay? What happened?" Twilight asked nicely.  
"M... M... Monster..." scared pony said  
"What monster? Where?"  
"Monster... at... at the... Everfree Forest..."

Spike gave Twilight an angry look... Twilight understood that it might be her fault... then asked:

"How did it look like?"  
"It was tall... it was walking on two legs... it had strange clothes... and the worst... it had a weird metal stick, that was making very loud explosion noise!"

Twilight couldn't even imagine that kind of a creature!

"Spike? We're going to see the princess! I hope that Celestia knows what's happening here!


	3. Hands up, your highness!

Chapter 3

''Hands up, your highness!''

Twilight and Spike went to Canterlot to get some answers.

When they were there, Princess Celestia kindly greeted the visitors, especially her most faithful student.  
Twilight told her how she failed the spell and how she teleported something to Equestria. Also she told everything she knew about that scared pony and his reactions.

"Oh, my... why did I wrote down that dangerous spell in the books." Celestia said  
"Dangerous?" Twilight asked  
"Yes, dangerous. You see... once I was testing that spell too and... I accidentaly teleported a weird metal thing with wheels in our dimension" (Was that a car?)  
"And what did that metal thing do?"  
"I didn't see, because I immediately teleported the thing out of here in fear."

"Sorry, princess..."  
"It's ok... you didn't know about the danger."

Twilight blushed

"Actually... it WAS written in..." she stubbornly said  
"Hmm?"  
"I mean... it WAS written in the book that it can teleport a creature, but I missed that part."  
"Lets worry about that later since we have a monster to deal with."

Princess Celestia sent 3 Royal Guards to investigate the forest.

Meanwhile in the forest Sergeant Jason was getting bored.

"Oh c'mon! Does this freaking forest ever ends? Wait..."

Jason saw the three flying pegasus ponies

"Hey! Looks like the UAV finally came... and I thought that nobody cares about me. Hah! I think that Mac and Pete are both pissed..."

The ponies flew closer and closer but didn't see the soldier yet.

"Wait a second... that's not a UAV... those are..."

He stood there looking at the sky and tried not to lose his mind.

"What The Fuck?! Flying and talking colorful horses! I won't be surprised if I see a pink dancing elephant somewhere here! Wait... they cannot be hostile... even if they are, they can't do shit to me!"

One of the guards saw Jason and all three landed to intercept.

"Oh shit... they saw me... maybe I can try to communicate with them? Since I heard that screaming thing shouting ''help'' in english." Jason thought.

The guards landed on the ground in front of the soldier. Jason wanted to come closer...

"Hold it right there!" One of the guards ordered and stepped towards our Sergeant.  
"Wait! I'm not an enemy! I come with peace! But, umm ... no offence... but HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TALK IF YOU'RE A HORSE?" Jason yelled, because he couldn't hold the thought inside him.

Guards jumped back and pointed their spears at the "creature".

"You are coming with us!" They said  
"Shit! Hey! Sorry! Umm... I will say again: I... AM... NOT... h-o-s-t-i-l-e" Jason spelled  
"You attacked one of our civilians and now you have to come with us or we will use force against you"  
"Whoah! You are not going to use force against me, little midget!"

One of the guards charged towards him.

"Oh no you don't!"

Jason said and fired a single bullet in his hoof, because he didn't need any BIG problems! The guard fell down while bleeding and other two charged towards him. He, of course, threw bullets in their hooves as well and all three guards were laying on the ground. 10 seconds later all three got up with their wing help and painfully flew back to Canterlot.

"Who the hell were these guys? And why did they wanted ME to go with THEM?!" Jason thought and reloaded his magazine.  
"Wait a sec... I will follow them! Maybe I will find something interesting!"

He said and silently followed the slowly flying Guards.

A while after, Jason reached something...

"What the?! A fucking castle! Wow... this just got really interesting!"

He stopped to look where are the injured Guards flying. He picked up his sidearm, because he wanted to get in the castle, but silently.

"What a fucking stupid idea... but its the only thing that I can do."

Jason walked towards the castle and approached the gate. Two gate guards pointed their spears at him and one of them ran inside to call for help, while the other one stood there with his spear pointing at Jason.

"Hold it right, there, criminal!" the guard ordered  
"Hey! Whoah! Put down your weapon, horse thing!" Jason pointed his sidearm at the guard.  
"No, you will put down your magic weapons!"  
"Magic? What the fuck are you talking about?! Put down your spear! Now!"  
"Throw away your weapon! This is your last warning!"  
"Shut up, and drop your spear, damnit! This is your last fucking warning!"  
"Throw it away!"  
"Drop it! NOW!"

"Hey, what's happening here?" Shining Armour went out of the castle and interrupted.  
"It's the monster, captain!" Royal Gate Guard said  
"You! You were the one who injured my soldiers!" Shining Armour got angry.  
"I didn't mean to shoot them, damnit! I was protecting my fucking ass! Your so-called ''Guards'' attacked me and I just had to do something with it!" Jason explained  
"You will have to explain that to her highness Princess Celestia" said Shining Armour

They walked through the castle. Shining Armour was leading... Jason was following him and behind them there were about 15 guards following, in case something happens. When they went into Celestia's hall, Shining Armour and other guards left the room, leaving Sergeant Jason, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and Spike in the hall.

"Leave it to me, Twilight." Princess said  
"I don't want any trouble, so stay the fuck away from me!"

Jason started to tremble while Celestia slowly approached him.

"Why did you attack our civilian and soldiers?" Celestia asked

Jason told everything he knew and what he did, that he didn't do it on purpose, and that he is new here... etc. When princess ended listening to his story, she looked at Twilight, who was actually quite scared.

"Alright, I will forgive you this time. But you must not do anything else again with your magic weapons. I will give you a place to stay till we somehow figure out how to get you back to your world."  
"Thank you! Fuck yeah! Someone finally fucking understands me!" Jason said.  
"Twilight, I need you to find him a place to stay while I work on the teleportation spell."  
"As you wish, princess..." Twilight was scared, because... She? Finding a place to stay for That thing? Well... not good.

**Note: In the next chapter we will possibly see McGarett and Peter in Equestria too... so... yeah, prepare to laugh your ass off xD**


	4. Two dumb creatures

Chapter 4

''Welcome to Equestria, McGarett and Peter''

Afghanistan.

US military forward headquarters.

6 hours after the mystical disappearance of Sergeant Jason.

The convoy has just arrived at the headquarters. McGarett and Peter were both depressed.

"So, bro. Lets go and talk to the general about this eh?" Private Peter sadly said  
"Like we had a fucking choice." McGarett answered.  
"Mac, you really think he disappeared? Or he is just playing faggot on us and trolling the whole battalion?"  
"For real... I don't the fuck know..."

Both soldiers slowly walked to the bunker where the general was. No one had a smile in their face, because there is a M.I.A soldier, who is possibly dead... even McGarett didn't have any foolish jokes to tell.

"I have a frickin idea, mate!" McGarett stopped  
"Hm?" Peter stopped and looked at him with interest  
"Lets do the same thing sarge did! Maybe we end up with something good?"  
"How much vodka did you have last night? We can die, damnit!"  
"Well I don't give a fuck about everyone else and myself! I'm going to do it! You in or not?"  
"Mac... you are stupid as a fucking... umm... as a fucking goose! But alright... I'm in!"

They both stopped and started to examine the transmitter. The transmitter's signal was locked on Equestria and Twilight's energy was still a lil' bit inside the transmitter.

"Cmon! Hold this button while I..."

*****ZIPP*** **They both disappeared...

In Equestria  
McGarett woke up in a tree right next to Everfree Forest. Peter was right under him next to the tree.

"Holy... shit..." McGarett said "Where the fuck am I... hey... I'M ALIVE, BITCHES!"  
"Mac? Where the hell are you?"  
"Here!"  
"Where?"  
"The fuck, dude! HERE!"  
"Where? I don't see you anywhere!"  
"In the tree, dumbass!"  
"Which one... oh..."

McGarett jumped down from the tree and grabbed his M16 from the ground. While Peter picked up his UMP-45.

"Dayum, dude! Lookie here! We are in the wonderland!"  
"Stop bitchin' around, Mac. And help me find my helmet!"  
"Found it..."

MacGarett picked up the helmet and looked up...

"Pete... you need to see this."

Peter came closer and both saw Ponyville up ahead.

"It looks like a cartoon!" Peter mentioned  
"Well then! Lets go and meet Batman and Spider-Man!"  
"No... we can't be dreaming! We are talking to each other!"  
"If you were in my dream, Pete, then I would just say: GTFO my dream, bitch!"  
"Shut up, Mac, and lets go check that village thing out!"

Both started walking towards Ponyville till they saw first ponies. It was Cheerilee with her students far away in a garden. It was a lesson about flower species.

"Umm... Mac?" Peter asked  
"Yeah?"  
"What the fuck are those things?"  
"Looks like horses to me, but... those colors? Is this a fucking cartoon or somethin?"

They both silently came closer and hid in the bushes.

"As you can see, children, this is _Rosa rubiginosa, _in old pony language it means Rose..." Cheerilee said.  
"DUDE! THOSE THINGS CAN TALK!" McGarett said in shock.  
"Shut up, dumbass! They will hear you!" Peter answered.

Ponies stopped for a moment and looked at the "talking bush". Then, Cheerilee came closer to the bush where the two soldiers were hiding. Both of them dropped on the ground and didn't even breathe. The purple pony then walked away and continued to explain the life cycle of a rose.

"Dude... what the fuck? She almost saw us because of you, dumbass!" Peter whispered  
"She? How can you know that she's a girl, Mr. Smartypants?" McGarett accused  
"Well... you heard her girly voice and I think boys don't have flower tatoos on their asses!"  
"Maybe you have one?"  
"Shut up, Mac!"

They both walked out of the bushes and continued along the road to Ponyville. There were more and more ponies coming.

"Damnit! There's too many of em! We'll have to go low-profile spec-ops." Peter said  
"You have never been on a spec-ops mission before! You don't even know how to put a silencer on a weapon!" McGarett laughed  
"Tell me ONE single spec-ops mission where YOU were in, then!" Peter said in anger  
"I have been in one!" McGarett answered easily  
"Yeah... you were UAV co-operator assistant and had to push a button once in 30 minutes"  
"That DOES count!"

"Whatever... Mac?"  
"Mhm?"  
"Contact! 2 o'clock! Hide somewhere!" Peter ordered  
"Shit... where?" McGarett was confused a bit  
"Somewhere! Damnit... Side of the road! Go!" Peter stressfully said

They both jumped in a ditch and silently moved along the road towards Ponyville, while looking at weird ponies and their voices, and cutiemarks.

Meanwhile.  
It was getting darker... Twilight was leading sergeant Jason to her house.

"Umm... Miss Twilight... where could I wash my weapons and hands? They are kinda dirty and I don't want to take them in your house." Jason tried to be kind...  
"There is a river about 90 hooves away from here" Twilight answered.

She was glad that Jason had at least SOME manners and could be nice. That was a small relief for her.

"By the way, this is my house! When you're done, you can come in!" Twilight said  
"Roger that... damn... these ponies aren't so bad after all! They understand us... they are friendly... If only McGarett and Peter would see this." Jason thought and walked to the river.

Meanwhile McGarett and Peter were almost at the center of Ponyville. It was a dark night and everypony was sleeping. Twilight, of course, did some before-night reading.  
McGarett and Peter saw the lights in Twilight's house. They walked closer and looked in the window.

"Pete? We need to take out this guy and get some info about where the fuck we are!" Said McGarett  
"Okay, mate. I'll cover your ass." Peter said

They slowly opened the window...


	5. Is that you?

Chapter 5

''Is that you?''

McGarett opened the window and silently went into the Twilight's bedroom so he can hide and wait for Peter to come. When they both were inside, Peter slowly approached Twilight, whose nose was stuck in a book. Peter came closer, grabbed Twilight and covered her mouth, so she couldn't shout or call for help.

"Gotcha! Mac, Come on!" Peter said

McGarett tied up Twilight and her mouth. They both then just sat there thinking what to do now. Twilight was frightened.

"Wait... Pete?"  
"Uh?"  
"How the heck are we supposed to get answers from this thing if we covered it's mouth." McGarett realised  
"We can... oh C'MON! I'm not gonna untie that thing! It can bite me and I will be infected with some kinda coloring infection or sumthin'" Peter argued

Twilight gave Peter an angry look. It was like: "Me? Bite? For Celestia's sake... you both are so stupid!"

"See? That thing's looking at me! It could attack us any second!" Peter continued  
"Pete! Shut-the-fuck-UP!" It was enough for McGarett, he just couldn't take Peter's talking anymore.  
"Ok, listen..." McGarett started talking to Twilight.  
"...I will untie you, but you must promise us, that you won't shout, ok?" he said kindly

Twilight moaned an affirmative.

"Dude! What the fuck are you doing?" Peter was shocked.  
"Also... Peter says sorry for what he did to you when you were reading. And we both are sorry that we didn't ring the door bell." McGarett kicked Peter with his elbow.  
"Ow! Oh... yea... umm... i'm terribly sorry bout that!" Peter answered.

McGarett slowly untied Twilight's mouth.

"Who are you two?" she stressfully asked.  
"We are..." Peter started but didn't finish his sentence, because McGarett interruped him.  
"I am Hunter 2-2, Private third class, finished ranger school when I was 18 and i'm highly qualified in weaponry and heavy guns." McGarett proudly said.

Peter just loudly facepalmed and continued his sentence.

"Don't mind that dumbass... we are humans from earth..." Peter started his story.

Meanwhile about 20 feet away from Twilight's house, Jason was coming. He heard talking and got suspicious. Jason looked in the window and saw the scared, tied Twilight. But the window was in bad angle so he didn't see McGarett and Peter.

"Looks like someone's in trouble..." Jason thought.  
"I'm gonna show Twilight how I usually meet bad guys."

Jason reloaded his M4 Carbine and kicked the front door, while shouting: "GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!"  
Peter and McGarett pointed their weapons at Jason and yelled back.

"SHUT, UP! GET DOWN!"  
"DROP YOUR WEAPON!"  
"DROP YOUR WEAPON OR YOU'RE DEAD!"  
"DROP IT!"  
"SHUT UP AND DROP YOUR WEAPON!"

They were shouting at each other for about 30 seconds. Twilight almost fainted because of the shock. The shouting woke up every single pony in Ponyville. Three soldiers were aiming at each other for about 2 minutes more... and then McGarett realised: "Wait... sarge? Is that you?"

"Mac? Pete? What the heck? What are you doing here?" All three soldiers lowered their weapons.  
"Jason? JASON! Its our fucking Sergeant Jason!" Peter said in joy.  
"Wow guys... how the heck did you manage to get here?" Jason asked  
"Well, mate... we did same thing you did with that transmitter, and looks like we are stuck here with you!" McGarett said.

Twilight recovered from shock and interrupted the conversation.

"You are from the same place?" She asked.  
"Yup! We sure are." McGarett answered

Spike came downstairs to see what the heck just woke him up and what is happening.

"Twi, what on earth is..." he didn't finish when he saw the soldiers.  
"Err... Spike? Meet..." she started  
"...McGarett, at your service!"  
"...Peter, standing by!"  
"...ergh... Jason..." Jason was embarrassed, because his squadmates we acting so stupid.

Someone knocked the door... Jason untied Twilight completely and she went to see who is at the door.

"Oh gosh... those are my friends..." she stressfully said because she didn't want them to see the Three soldiers.  
"Now that's just great!" Peter said.

Twilight didn't have any other choice but to open the door.


End file.
